Men and Windows

The Main Man Menu

Recently, I fell in love with an absolutely strange man. This made me search for some tips how to ask him out.

As for I didn't succeed to find a single reasonable advice on the net, I dared to ask my best friend how did she "gain" the man she lives with.

"There are several men types", she explained- "You'll learn that if you stop working so hard and start dating more men. The moment you meet him, you choose from several options what to say and how to act".

Everything was so clear to me- I imagined Windows- when you switch the man on, you should "click your username to begin"- either you are serious, or you want just to have some fun. After you have chosen, you click the Start button, the main menu appears on the screen and it is only up to you what shall you do with him.

At this stage the options are also two- Left and Right Side.

From the Left we usually choose "All Programs"- it is when we need something defined from him, including the worldwide used category "Games". Left contains also the most used shortcuts, which means we can use our old tricks on this man.

The Right Side is the most interesting, but it shall be used in case you are really interested in him (he's Mr Right). Right includes such things as "My Documents", "My Music", "My Pictures", "My Computer"- they are on the top of Windows Main Menu - i.e. The first stage of Man Main Menu (Right Side). After Stage 1 is accomplished, the Middle of Windows Main Menu (Right Side) comes- "Control Panel", "Connect to", "Printers and Faxes". This is the most important stage before finally "getting" the man. Trough faxes, phones you connect to his friends, family and, of course, him until you receive a permission to enter his Control Panel. When you are already there, the man is yours. And here comes the Stage 3 - your life together. As you already presume, it is the Bottom of Windows Main Menu (Right Side), including "Help and Support" - you shall always be there for him, "Search"- you are supposed to remember where he puts his belongings; And, finally, the Dream of every woman- "Run"- the peak of woman's power...

It is such a release to understand that "getting" most men is just as simple as using Windows. But, at this same second a thought appeared in my mind- Is really the clever man I love so predictable and simple? Probably hi is. But it is my love that makes him unique- he, perhaps, could be used as Windows, but not by me. In my eyes he is different- he is the person my hearth beats for and it is only my love that will show me how to act. I really don't need these Main Menu options, but if someone has a tip how to ask him out, please, drop a line!